Oh, did you think I was done talking about 1-2-Switch? When I said I was a champion of mini-game compilations, I wasn’t kidding! While trying to talk about it in broad strokes is one thing, I secretly enjoy writing out gratuitous ranking lists with little blurbs. And really, the internet seems to eat them up too, so why not please everybody?
While I can tell you that 1-2-Switch is a great game that, while maybe not necessarily worth the price it’s at now, is worth at least your time sometime down the road because playing with other people seems to be a lost art that Nintendo continually tries time and time again to instill in everybody. Seriously, it’s fun to play games with family and friends. They tend to call you less offensive names to boot. Without further ado, here’s my ranking of all twenty-eight mini-games in 1-2-Switch:
I’ve literally only played Sneaky Dice once. It’s not fun, it’s utterly random and it barely qualifies as a game. It’s the type of thing your mom would try to device on a long car trip where the radio only picks up fuzz and you brought no toys, or books or games. There’s nothing else for her to do to entertain you than create an on-the-spot-asinine game that has muddy rules. It’s not quite Hell but its pretty close.
It’s a game in which you roll dice, guess what your number is, guess what your opponent’s number is, and then try to trick them into guessing if your or their number is higher or lower…I guess? In other words it’s a lot of guessing.
I’d rather be the person who’s the first to find a cow in the barren prairie of middle South Dakota during a vacation than play this game again.
Much like Sneaky Dice, Joy-Con Rotation doesn’t make enough sense to be fun. You and your opponent take turns gently picking the controller off the ground, moving it to a certain degree, then putting it back down. Apparently you aren’t supposed to “upset the balance,” but being cryptic isn’t a very good goal to have.
The only reason it places slightly above Sneaky Dice is you don’t have to be stupidly dubious to your opponent.
Dance Off is a reminder that in order to get the most out of 1-2-Switch, you need to check your inhibitions at the door. The more you let go and just goof around, the more fun it becomes.
There are a set of mini-games here that are nothing more than a novelty; you dink around with it once or twice (or more depending on whether you get new people to play) and not much else. Dance Off in particular has you just simply dancing. There’s a score that’s constantly tallying as you go, but as to what advances it faster or slower is an utter mystery.
It takes a lot for me to want to cut loose, but the sillier something is the more apt I am to do it. Unfortunately for Dance Off, I’m reticent to show off my moves so it ended up being the biggest loser out of all the novelty experiences.
Gorilla is another novelty act, this time having you bang your chest to a rhythm with the winner garnering the loving affection of a lady gorilla with a pink bow in her hair.
It’s a little more game-ish than Dance Off and it’s definitely funnier for an audience, but thumping your chest isn’t something you’ll come back to often.
Air Guitar is a more superfluous activity like Dance Off, but it must be said that people are more apt into get into fake shredding than to court like a monkey or get jiggy with it. You quickly notice that everyone has their own style when they unleash their inner metal head, therefore this game is more likely to get picked if only by the party host to see how everyone does.
I like this one a lot simply because it’s amazing how into people can get! The goal is to strut up and down an imaginary runway while striking poses in between beats. It’s utterly ridiculous, weirdly cathartic and the most fun novelty to watch as a bystander.
Unlike everything else in 1-2-Switch which relies of exaggerated motions, Zen forces you to compete with others by being as still as possible. While it sounds kind of boring, it’s an awesome test of patience watching my fidgety children attempt to do this. It’s like torture that’s also a game.
Whereas Dance Off just had you marching to the beat of your own drum, Copy Dance has you make a wacky pose that your opponent then has to copy. Think of it as a stylin’ and profilin’ taking on H.O.R.S.E. and I think you’ll get the idea.
How the game reads what you’re doing and whether or not your opponent is properly copying you is a bit ambiguous, but it doesn’t matter a whole lot because being silly is the real goal. Like a lot of what’s on offer in 1-2-Switch, there’s just as much added to the experience via the crowd as there is for those who are holding the controllers. A subtle reminder of why party games are worth your time.
Boxing Gym is very similar to Copy Dance in cadence, but it feels a little more technical and there is a defined move set with jabs, uppercuts and hooks. Maybe not as fun in large groups, but better when there’s two of you.
Plate Spin get the award for creepiest characters by a long, long shot but what it loses is sheer scariness it makes up for in being a big proponent in playing a video game in a way that doesn’t actually involve the screen.
You hold your joy-con like a stick and rotate it furiously to keep an imaginary plate spinning. The HD rumble helps suspend your disbelief and while that in itself is a neat trick, the game because crazy fun when you try to mess with your opponents while simultaneously keeping your plate afloat. More often than not your attempts at hosing your opponent means you’re distracted just enough to lose focus and drop your own.
I know people cry foul that this was the whole point of Johann Sebastian Joust, but this is a little more consumer friendly than having to buy Move controllers and such.
Also: someone please bring Johann Sebastian Joust to Switch.
Telephone is the prime example one could use to show off what makes 1-2-Switch fun to the lowest common denominator. You probably read that as “show this thing to dumb people”, but rather it’s the quickest thing people will grasp onto when trying to describe the tech behind the Switch.
You put the Joy-Cons on a table and wait for it to ring, the first person to pick it up wins. It’s succinct and to the point, but also a reminder that it’s not to be played ad infinitum, but rather in rotation with everything else that’s on offer. Unlike a lot of other games in 1-2-Switch, someone will eventually come back to this one.
Have you ever played imaginary baseball when left to your own devices on a field? You know, where you pretend to pitch the ball, someone else pretends to hit it and you usually emulate an announcer by saying that the crowd goes wild?
That’s Baseball in 1-2-Switch.
It’s by no means my favorite game on this compilation, but my kids really dig the back and forth of trying to “out-spell” each other so it gets a spot further up the list.
This is one of the first examples of using the feel behind HD rumble to really gauge what you’re doing. The gist is that you have to thrust your wand at your opponent to try and move a powerful orb into them. Swinging willy-nilly is a legitimate strategy, but there’s a defensive portion to it where you can kind of “catch” the orb by pulling back, then thrusting forward in the hopes that you’ll make it collide with your opponent.
It’s deeper than anyone is likely to give it credit for.
Another favorite amongst my kin is Sword Fight which, like Wizard, has an ebb and flow to it that’s very engaging…assuming you’re playing against someone who isn’t just flailing. There are horizontal and vertical attacks that you must block and swing with that feel sublime thanks to the rumble.
I’d say this is a lot safer than actually swinging sticks or something at each other, but I’ve seen near misses with merely Joy-Cons and it’s a bit scary.
While most motion control situations revolve around exaggerated movement, Baby is all about subtlety.
You must cradle the Switch as a baby resides within the screen, and you have to rock it gently to get to go to sleep. When you think you have her down, you must then softly put her down to complete your task. I imagine it doesn’t feel wholly unsimilar to what it probably feels like when you rope a calf and tie its legs together.
It’s a weird juxtaposition of trying to be quick but also calm about what you’re doing. But it’s also oddly satisfying when you pull it off. Too bad getting actual babies to sleep wasn’t this easy!
One of the few games in 1-2-Switch where you actually need a screen, Treasure Chest has you rotating your Joy-Con to unravel a large chain that’s wrapped around a, well, treasure chest.
Like Baby, there’s an interesting mix of subtlety and haste involved in trying to unwrap your prize before your opponent. I like how the rumble snaps a little when you get the chain around corners in yet another curious use of visceral feedback.
If there were one game that I would show somebody that would make you believe in the power of HD rumble, Ball Count is it.
Your goal is to rotate and move your Joy-Con as if it were a box filled with marbles. And, as you’ve probably heard or suspected, it feels exactly like a box filled with marbles. This is one of those things where a gimmick can be simply amazing while still resembling something that would be continually fun.
I never stop being wowed by this game.
While most games up until this point give off strong vibrations when it comes to rumble, Safe Crack is a reminder of how understated it can be.
You have to twist your Joy-Con back and forth to feels a click as you attempt to open a safe. Being as you’re competing with somebody else, there’s a lot involved with making sure you’re accurate but precise. There’s a certain anxiety you get when you realize your opponent hit their first tumbler that makes you want to go a little faster.
This is a great game for people who maybe can’t get the hang of the other games because a deftness is needed instead of going big.
In this game, players take turns trying to swing a katana into their opponent while their opponent must try and catch the oncoming strike. Samurai Training is one of many games where hesitation plays a big factor in your performance, and where performance is part of the fun.
You can fake out your opponent when swinging to try and either mess up their timing or just straight up have them inadvertently catch what isn’t coming, then go in for the strike. In doing so, you start to play the part of a samurai, which is when you realize 1-2-Switch blurs the line between being a game and being actual play.
This is the most realistic shaving simulator I have ever played!
Without the perk of a mirror, you must try and more of your face then your opponent just by feel. Like I said, it’s a very convincing game that I think makes it more entertaining than it would otherwise.
Soda Shake is hot potato by all accounts. Each player takes turns shaking a bottle of soda then passing it to the next player. At certain intervals the fizziness starts to get stronger, letting you know it’s getting ready to pop.
It’s simple for sure, but it’s also one of the few games where you can involve more than one other person in to the competition.
Of all the games on offer in 1-2-Switch, Signal Flags is the most complex. Take that with a grain of salt; that’s like saying Star Wars is high cinema or Beastie Boys License to Ill was their greatest work – not technically true, but you can’t forget the importance it has to their franchise/work as a whole.
The game shouts out directions you must swing your imaginary flag…assuming who you’re listening to. There’s also an opposing voice that, when you hear it, you must swing your flag in the opposite position. In theory it sounds simple, but trying to listen in between laughing or, as is most likely the case, in a big rollicking group is much harder than you’d think.
While this cracked the top ten in my list, I’m sure my kids would put it substantially below because, you know, listening is not their forte.
What’s with all these flags, you say? Well, apparently they make for some interesting experiences.
Beach Flag is extremely simple; you must run with all your might until you reach the titular goal before your opponent does. What makes it so much fun isn’t the act of running (although I should do more of it IRL) but in spectating. Watching people run in place is ridiculous and kind of awesome.
Please check your reticence at the door; it’s time to get goofy.
Ah, the top five. Where most people with common sense would have written a post and called it good. Probably a smarter move.
But I digress.
Eating Contest has you pointing the IR sensor in the right Joy-Con at your mouth and chomping the living hell out of some submarine sandwiches. Whoever eats the most wins.
Remember how I said Beach Flag was fun to watch? It’s got absolutely nothing on Eating Contest. Watching people fake it is the most bizarre and, in turn, most fun to watch. Will they smack their lips? Bare their teeth? Make noise while flapping their gums?
I don’t know, but I’m going to make sure anyone that comes within a certain vicinity of my Switch play this so I can find out.
While there are games that require you to listen or feel what’s going on in order to win, Table Tennis is interesting in the fact that the only way I can describe playing it is by sensing what’s going on.
There’s a certain cadence to Table Tennis, where everything from the ping of the ball on your fake paddle to the sound of that little hollow ball bouncing off an imaginary green table sway what you’re doing. The less you observe and the more you pretend will serve you well. Not an intention pun, but I’ll take it.
There’s some depth here with serving and power shots, but really the meat of the game comes from the tension of staring down your opponent and seeing who has a better feel for the sport.
Quick Draw is the game that almost immediately gets picked first in anyone’s rotation.
It’s easy to understand, it feels very weighty and almost everyone squints their eyes and wriggles their fingers over their Joy-Con as if they were a true outlaw. You forget that this is a game and just settle in to this sense of play that is unparalleled. Everyone has a certain style when they play the game, whether it’s to try and psych out their opponent with their facial features or by swinging their opposing hand in a ploy to get their foe to draw early.
It’s very tempting to have a set of ten-gallon hats just to complete the ruse.
Quick Draw in and of itself is a hoot; it made it to number three on the list. Have the game spout out words like “flower” and “foot” instead of fire just adds this new layer of subversiveness to an already incendiary experience and you have pure magic. Well, pure except for…
Oh, Milk. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
Squeezing a virtual teat wraps up all the special moments each game individually brings to 1-2-Switch and wraps it into this amazing, visceral moment of existential confusion.
There’s a subtlety to massaging a cows udder, where both pull and squeeze are taking into account. You can’t help but gaze into your opponent’s eyes as you watch them caress the teat in their attempt to smoothly collect alpha dairy. There’s that quick spark of realization that yes Goddammit you’re a better rancher than your opponent. There’s the realization that video games are supposed to be fun and all pretenses of seriousness have been thrown out the window as you compete in this colossal challenge.
If the Joy-Con’s were able to heat up in your hands as you went, 1-2-Switch would totally be Game of the Year material.